🌟 Why external things won't make you love yourself

Hey Flawsome Human,

You may or may not have rolled your eyes at the subject line of this weeks email, but stick with me - I think it’s an important topic.

‘Self-love’ gets thrown around a lot but it’s a GIGANTIC piece of our life’s puzzle, and it’s something that we can’t get externally.

You can truly only give yourself this one gift.

I spent most of my life hating myself (hate is a strong word - but I truly, did not like myself) and I tried to ‘fix’ everything about me.

Only recently did I realize that no surgery or achievement will make me truly fulfilled & make me love & accept myself.

These are just some thoughts from my personal experiences, take what you need today.

🚫 WHY YOU CAN’T RELY ON EXTERNAL THINGS TO MAKE YOU LOVE YOURSELF OR FEEL FULFILLED 🚫

1️⃣ You’re always going to be chasing

I am guilty of this. Deeply guilty. I was fixated on my appearance for most of my 20s (got numerous surgeries & spent quite a bit on them) and I always believed that I would love myself when I looked a certain way.

It didn’t matter what I did, I was never happy. It was never enough.

Same goes for achievements or goals; even when I crossed that finish line, my eyes were already looking ahead at the next milestone. Goals are great but you can’t depend on them to validate you.

2️⃣ Your self-love will always fluctuate

When you’re depending on external things to validate you, and your self-worth, you’re always going to be on unsteady grounds. If things are going great, you’ll reach one extreme (woooo), and the opposite is also true; you’ll come crashing down.

It’s exhausting living like this & it will make those down periods harder than they need to be.

3️⃣ You’re going to be disappointed

You can’t rely on others to validate you. You can’t expect people to tell you your worth, or the value you bring into this world. Because if it doesn’t happen, you’re gonna be disappointed.

You need to recognize this yourself, and understand that outside opinions don’t matter.

If someone happens to confirm your beliefs - great, but that doesn’t change how you feel about yourself, and you’re not dependent on those comments.

If you’re interested in hearing my full self-love journey (and my previous obsession with perfection), I cover it on this weeks podcast episode:

Watch on Youtube

Listen on Apple

Listen on Spotify

Have a great rest of your week. 😊

Stay Flawsome,

-Erica