🌟 How to set boundaries

Howdy, Flawsome human.

Happy Wednesday. Today’s a quick one on a subject I’m sure many of us have, or currently are, struggling with…

Personally, professionally, we need to have them. If we don’t, 💩 can hit the fan pretty quickly and you could be left resenting someone, or becoming burnt out.

My experience: I am a recovering people pleaser and in the past (where my people pleasers at!?!), I would do whatever I could to satisfy others, even when it caused me to neglect my own needs.

I would say yes to everything out of guilt.

But hear me out; every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to yourself.

Here are some things I’ve learned to combat the not-so-uncommon people pleasing tendencies.

🚫How to set boundaries 🚫

1️⃣ Identify your needs & non-negotiables: where do you hope to be in a year? What do you need to do to get there? Also figure out where you struggle with boundaries, and what becomes stressful for you.

Non-negotiables can help with this, and you should have them if you don’t already. Some of mine include; 1 day a week off social media/work completely (so no calls), no meetings before 9AM, exercise every morning, no calls past 5pm. 

2️⃣ Make adjustments: look at your current schedule, personal relationships, and professional relationships. Are there any boundaries you need to create? Maybe you need to tell your clients you’re only available via email from 9-4, or maybe you need to tell a family member you can only talk on the weekend.

I also would do this exercise; take note of how much time you’re spending on certain things. Break it down into a % for a given week. If your goal is to close 3 clients in the next month, most of your time should be spent on this. Cut out the things that aren’t moving the needle forward.

I use the chart below all of the time to help with this:

3️⃣ Say no: this one can be hard but it’s necessary. Imagine how much time you would have for yourself, if you said yes to EVERYTHING? This is your life, you need to prioritize yourself & your goals. 

If something doesn’t feel like a “HECK YES” or align with you and what your needs are, say no. And PS… no is a complete answer. You can explain why, but you don’t need to. 

Also, ask yourself; if I said yes to this, will it bring me closer to my goals, or further from them? Something that happened to me recently; I started taking on clients, but I really wanted to be building my podcast. I was so busy with client work that I wasn’t able to spend time to work on it, so it got delayed (and still is). 😅

Sometimes boundaries fall to the wayside, but what’s important is that we recognize & make the necessary adjustments to bring them back. We have them for a reason.

Have a flawsome day!

-Erica

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