🌟 Why you need to let go of toxic relationships in order to grow

Hey Flawsome Human,

Happy Wednesday - hope this week is a good one for you so far.

Not too long ago someone in my life told me one of her close friends no longer supported her & she always felt discouraged after spending time with her.

She said something along the lines of:

“We’ve been friends for so long but she makes me feel bad about myself. And I don’t have many friends as it is. What do I do?”

This got me thinking about FRIENDSHIP BREAKUPS and why they’re necessary to grow.

They’re difficult, but what’s more difficult is keeping people in your life that aren’t rowing the boat with you.

We can’t have anchors.

👋 HOW TO KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE 👋

1️⃣ Audit your energy

Pay close attention to how you feel when you’re with certain people in your life. Are you excited, inspired, and energized during and after? Or are you feeling drained and defeated?

And if you’re feeling the latter, why, and can you do anything to change this?

One other thing to note - if something exciting is happening in your life, are you open to sharing it, or are you hesitant to? Why?

People who don’t clap when you win aren’t people that deserve to have you in their lives. It’s a two-way street.

2️⃣ Audit the conversation

When you’re talking to certain people, what is the conversation like? Are you constantly talking about the past and old memories, or talking about your dreams and the future?

Reminiscing is fine every now and then, but you can’t live in the past and expect to move forward in your life.

Are they acknowledging the things you’re sharing - for example, if you had something good happen, do they support you and want to hear more? Or do they ignore it and downplay it?

Do they encourage you to do things to better yourself, or make you feel like you can’t or shouldn’t do those things?

The negativity spewed by people in our lives has a huge impact on our success. You need to surround yourself with people who are striving to be better, and want you to be better, too. If they aren’t, you need to distance yourself from them.

3️⃣ Audit your standard

What are the standards you hold for yourself, and the people around you? And once you define those standards, are the people in your life currently meeting them?

Remember… What you tolerate, IS your standard.

One big part of my standard is accountability. People in my life must take accountability for themselves & if they’re in the wrong, they admit it, and own it.

… I’m not saying to go to a friend, partner, or even family member and say “we’re breaking up", but I am saying, if you feel like someone in your life is holding you back, you should rearrange their proximity to you. You don’t need to cut ties completely (but you can if it’s necessary) but you do need to make yourself less accessible to them.

Once you do this, you can make space for people who will be rowers, not anchors.

I go into this in more detail & also share why I ended a 15 year friendship in my podcast this week:

Watch on Youtube

Listen on Apple

Listen on Spotify

You’re not a bad person for cutting people out of your life that aren’t healthy for you. Not everyone is meant to stick around forever, and that’s okay.

Have you gone through friendship breakups?

See you next week. 😊

Stay Flawsome,

-Erica